Typically I’m positive, optimistic, and cheerful; today I’m a negative ion gathering dust on the plastic rod. I feel beaten. Knowing I must scrape myself up and push onward I’m trying to look beyond the dull blithe road ahead and find some color in the horizon. Tomorrow will be bright.
With just over 6 weeks until Boston, in all aspects the marathon is rapidly approaching. This is no time to get deflated, lose confidence, and forget about motivation. Unfortunately, right now, the Debbie Downer storm clouds above my head are pouring.
Just a few days ago I raced my second fastest 10-mile time ever at Club Challenge. 62:41 over the grueling course at 6:16/mile pace pushed my limits enough to puke repeatedly no longer than 20 seconds after I crossed the line. But I still had more in me that day. My legs are just not turning over the way I expect, or hope. My right leg has a nerve pain that is radiating and leaving my step without power, and occasional numbness. My gate is suffering, and I’d be fine if that were it. True nerve fatigue is taking its’ grip on me; that illusive mental lapse, mental nerve breakdown, mental fortitude. I don’t quit. But sometimes I just feel like, quitting I still might, why do I put up this fight, why do I still…RACE?
The tightrope of marathon training is wobbly right now, and it’s hard to walk, let alone toe across. I’ve been here before, so my blinders are transparent. This is not new ground, but blithe vision has gray on grey shades of black & white. Numb; I wish my leg & foot wasn’t frequently.
After next Saturday’s Chambersburg Half marathon, where I am shooting to PR sub 1:23:40, I’ll be 37 days out from Boston. That is plenty of time, to muster another strong push, including several workouts and key 24-miler along the Buttonwood to Waterville route, a recovery and ramp up, and final taper period. I’ve been here before. Stay on the path.
Sometimes I need to write it down; let another one know where I’m at. Marathon training is lonely. Unlike training for a shorter distance race where you may find yourself in that race 5 or 10 times in a season, it’s stack all your chips, all in, for one day. All for just a three hour stand. The stress of that alone is tough. Put it in perspective, since 2010 began I’ve run about 4,500 miles – yet only 52.4 miles have been during my two road marathons. That’s a lot of training for two pay outs. Sure, I’ve run other races in the last two year journey… But right now it’s all about Boston and the pursuant sub 2:50 effort I train.
This tuned up Dodge Dart is simply trying to keep focus and drive unbroken.
Try a little harder and Make Z Proud… Because the only thing that stands between a man and what he wants in life is often merely the will to try it, and the faith to believe that it’s possible. Today is day 1 of training.